For quite some time now, Maddie has had this fatty growth under her right front leg. It's never really seemed to bother her, but we've (and by we I mean Shawn) been keeping an eye on it. It has progressively gotten bigger, and she has recently started acting like she didn't want us to touch it. The vet assured us that it was not malignant, but if it grew to be more of a problem, we might want to consider having it removed.
After some discussion, we decided to go ahead & take care of the problem now. We both really struggled with the idea of having a non-medically necessary surgery, no matter how minor, on our dog. Still, we felt like with the addition of Sam, we might be glad we just went ahead & got it over with.
So, Monday morning, I loaded Maddie up & carted her to the vet's office. I think the most traumatic part of the whole experience for her was the fact that she couldn't eat breakfast that morning. While I was standing in the kitchen eating my toast, she just glared at me accusingly like I was purposefully torturing her.
Shawn & I both worried about her all day. I went back & forth between guilt over putting her through the procedure & relief that we didn't let it get really painful before we had it removed. When I called to check on her that afternoon, the vet told me she had tolerated the surgery just fine, but she probably wouldn't need to do any stair-climbing or walking other than to go potty for a few days. OH MY GOSH...WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO OUR BABY?!
When it came time for me to pick her up, I sped to the office, anxiously wondering what kind of shape she'd be in. After notifying the office staff that I was there to pick up a surgery patient, I sat down & waited for my lame dog to be carried into the room.
My wait was short.
Just a few seconds after sitting down, I heard what sounded like a herd of wild horses come tearing down the hall. I looked up just in time to see a blond blur race past me towards the other side of the room, dragging a poor, hundred-pound girl behind it. It looked like my dog, but surely this thing couldn't be Maddie. She was hurt, right? For a split second, I wondered if they forgot to do the surgery. (I also made this same mistake one time after taking my cat to be neutered, but that's another story. I'll have to share it sometime...it's a good one.)
I finally convinced myself that this was, indeed, the correct dog, and I took her home. If it weren't for the little bald spot on her leg, you'd never know anything had happened to her. I think we forget how resilient animals are. Humans are such wimps. Think about it: If I had a small growth removed, I'd be sent home with at least a 5 day supply of Lortab & an order to be off work for a week or so. Not Maddie. While she did sleep a little more than usual that first night, the next morning she was awake, bright & early, making sure we didn't oversleep. (Okay, so she was waking us up to feed her, but it's more impressive if I make it sound like she's our second alarm clock.) When I took her outside, she did her usual round of looking for her cows, pointing at any birds, and waiting for me to throw a stick.
If only I could recover from childbirth so quickly....
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Green Light...Go!
Sam has officially been given the green light by the doctor...although he assured me that we're not really close to any action. Shawn remains convinced that we're looking at an early delivery, but I'm not so sure. The random contractions I had been having have slowed down, & I'm actually having very few these days.
Shawn also remains convinced that we're going to have a big baby. I believe "bull calf" are the words he's currently using. (Thank you, Uncle Jerry, for being the first to call my baby that.) My doctor keeps swearing that my belly measures exactly where he'd expect it to at this point. I think his tape measure may be malfunctioning. At this point, I'm wondering how my stomach could be any bigger.
As a matter of fact, my niece, Elli, pointed out to me yesterday just how large my belly is. I explained to her that Baby Sam is in there, and he is almost ready to come out. Without missing a beat, she informed me that her mom has a baby in her belly too, but her belly isn't as big as mine. Ah...from the mouths of babes.
I'm feeling pretty good. It's a good thing too, because we've still got a few projects to finish up! We finally got Sam's furniture in & assembled, and we made our final Babies R Us run tonight. I've got most of his laundry finished, although every time I think I'm done I find a few more pieces that need washed. I suspect I may as well just get accustomed to that... By this time next week, I hope to have the car seats installed, the bag packed and any other random little tasks accomplished. I'll post pictures of his room in a few days.
Shawn also remains convinced that we're going to have a big baby. I believe "bull calf" are the words he's currently using. (Thank you, Uncle Jerry, for being the first to call my baby that.) My doctor keeps swearing that my belly measures exactly where he'd expect it to at this point. I think his tape measure may be malfunctioning. At this point, I'm wondering how my stomach could be any bigger.
As a matter of fact, my niece, Elli, pointed out to me yesterday just how large my belly is. I explained to her that Baby Sam is in there, and he is almost ready to come out. Without missing a beat, she informed me that her mom has a baby in her belly too, but her belly isn't as big as mine. Ah...from the mouths of babes.
I'm feeling pretty good. It's a good thing too, because we've still got a few projects to finish up! We finally got Sam's furniture in & assembled, and we made our final Babies R Us run tonight. I've got most of his laundry finished, although every time I think I'm done I find a few more pieces that need washed. I suspect I may as well just get accustomed to that... By this time next week, I hope to have the car seats installed, the bag packed and any other random little tasks accomplished. I'll post pictures of his room in a few days.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Age Has It's Benefits
I cannot wait until I'm old and can say whatever I want without thinking or suffering any consequences. If I say something offensive or rude, people will just shrug & say, "Eh...she's old." It may even be a little endearing to some.
Today, one of my favorite little old lady patients told me that she could tell I'm having a boy because I am carrying him the same way she carried her sons. According to her, when she was pregnant with her daughter, she only had a small bump right on the front of her belly. However, when she was pregnant with her sons, she got "big all over" just like me. When she saw me from behind, she immediately knew I was having a boy. Translation: You have a big butt, dearie.
Seriously, what do you say to that??? I know I have, shall we say, blossomed over the last couple of weeks. Every part of my body is swollen...not just my abdomen. Even my cheeks have taken on that squirrel-gathering-nuts-for-the-winter look. I have stopped wearing my wedding band. I have cankles. (At least I think I do. I wouldn't know for sure because it's been weeks since I've seen them.) I'm almost to the point where I can justify Crocs with any outfit. I'm not complaining; it's part of it. In exchange for a few weeks of minimal discomfort, I get a little snuggle-bug who will, at least for the first 12 years of his life, think I'm awesome & know everything.
What's amazing is that even in my overly hormonal, cry-all-the-time state, this lady's comments didn't hurt my feelings. I just stood there looking at her with her sweet little old lady smile & couldn't help but smile back. Partly because I know she didn't mean any malice in her comments. But partly because in a couple of months I'll see her again & I'll have a picture of the cutest baby ever & will be able to say, "See, I might have been huge, but look how it paid off!"
And then I will giggle with the knowledge that I have the ability to replace her Imodium with Ex-Lax should the mood ever strike.
Today, one of my favorite little old lady patients told me that she could tell I'm having a boy because I am carrying him the same way she carried her sons. According to her, when she was pregnant with her daughter, she only had a small bump right on the front of her belly. However, when she was pregnant with her sons, she got "big all over" just like me. When she saw me from behind, she immediately knew I was having a boy. Translation: You have a big butt, dearie.
Seriously, what do you say to that??? I know I have, shall we say, blossomed over the last couple of weeks. Every part of my body is swollen...not just my abdomen. Even my cheeks have taken on that squirrel-gathering-nuts-for-the-winter look. I have stopped wearing my wedding band. I have cankles. (At least I think I do. I wouldn't know for sure because it's been weeks since I've seen them.) I'm almost to the point where I can justify Crocs with any outfit. I'm not complaining; it's part of it. In exchange for a few weeks of minimal discomfort, I get a little snuggle-bug who will, at least for the first 12 years of his life, think I'm awesome & know everything.
What's amazing is that even in my overly hormonal, cry-all-the-time state, this lady's comments didn't hurt my feelings. I just stood there looking at her with her sweet little old lady smile & couldn't help but smile back. Partly because I know she didn't mean any malice in her comments. But partly because in a couple of months I'll see her again & I'll have a picture of the cutest baby ever & will be able to say, "See, I might have been huge, but look how it paid off!"
And then I will giggle with the knowledge that I have the ability to replace her Imodium with Ex-Lax should the mood ever strike.
Friday, March 26, 2010
What's Yours is Mine
Shawn's aunt made this really great basket full of diapers, outfits, toys, and random baby necessities. I have unloaded the basket & dispensed of everything in it except for the diapers. Because we're still waiting on Sam's furniture (I know...I know...), I had no place to store them. So, I just stashed the basket & diapers in this handy little nook under the counter in Sam's bathroom for the time being.
Annie found them.
Seriously, I guess I should have known better, but I never considered that she would make a nest on top of dozens of diapers. I have a feeling we're going to have lots of conversations about boundaries in our house very soon.
Annie found them.Seriously, I guess I should have known better, but I never considered that she would make a nest on top of dozens of diapers. I have a feeling we're going to have lots of conversations about boundaries in our house very soon.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Light 'Em Up!
My friend Beth once compared labor to walking across a bed of hot coals. She said God is very smart in his engineering of pregnancy. By the time you actually give birth, you're so uncomfortable that if someone told you that you would have to walk across a bed of hot coals in order to get the baby out, you'd gladly light them up. Any fear of labor goes right out the window because you are just ready for the pregnancy to be over.
While I'm not at that point yet, I am getting to the point where I frequently have to remind myself what we're getting in return for all of this. I confess, I'm still a little nervous about the labor thing. I only know of two ways to get this baby out of my body, and to be honest, neither of them sound like that much fun. Right now my feelings of gee-I-hope-the-next-6-weeks-go-by-quickly are mixed with oh-my-gosh-we're-still-not-ready-he-has-to-stay-put-until-we-get-everything-done. However, I have a feeling that if this baby continues to grow for the next 6 weeks (and my doctor assures me that he will), I will not only be willing to walk across a bed of hot coals myself, I will also be asking for another set for Shawn...just to be sure we get the job done.
It takes a crane to get me out of bed these days. Not because I'm so tired, but because I physically cannot go from a supine position to sitting up without the assistance of my husband. Shawn handles it all very good-naturedly, but I'm secretly a little worried that he might just leave me in the bed one of these days out of meanness. Getting dressed is another challenge. Every morning when I'm getting ready for work, I look longingly at my favorite pair of sweatpants & reach for one of two pairs of dress pants that still fit around my rear end (and one of those is getting pretty tight). And please, let's not even talk about shoes. Our recent burst of sunshine has had me wondering how soon I can pull off flip-flops without looking like an idiot. Seriously, is 60 degrees ok? What about 58...can I pull them off at 58? Do I hear 55? I haven't coerced Shawn into tying my shoes yet...my pride just won't allow it...but I feel like that day is fast approaching.
On a positive note, yesterday we threw open the windows & spent the entire day cleaning. I just love the smell of Pledge mixed with bleach mixed with spring air. When Shawn walked in & saw me cleaning out the window tracks, he just laughed & shook his head. Luckily, he wasn't there to witness me wiping down the baseboards with antibacterial wipes. I don't know why I was so obsessed with getting the house clean before the baby gets here...it's not like it will ever be clean again after he comes...but I couldn't stop myself.
This kid better be awfully cute...
While I'm not at that point yet, I am getting to the point where I frequently have to remind myself what we're getting in return for all of this. I confess, I'm still a little nervous about the labor thing. I only know of two ways to get this baby out of my body, and to be honest, neither of them sound like that much fun. Right now my feelings of gee-I-hope-the-next-6-weeks-go-by-quickly are mixed with oh-my-gosh-we're-still-not-ready-he-has-to-stay-put-until-we-get-everything-done. However, I have a feeling that if this baby continues to grow for the next 6 weeks (and my doctor assures me that he will), I will not only be willing to walk across a bed of hot coals myself, I will also be asking for another set for Shawn...just to be sure we get the job done.
It takes a crane to get me out of bed these days. Not because I'm so tired, but because I physically cannot go from a supine position to sitting up without the assistance of my husband. Shawn handles it all very good-naturedly, but I'm secretly a little worried that he might just leave me in the bed one of these days out of meanness. Getting dressed is another challenge. Every morning when I'm getting ready for work, I look longingly at my favorite pair of sweatpants & reach for one of two pairs of dress pants that still fit around my rear end (and one of those is getting pretty tight). And please, let's not even talk about shoes. Our recent burst of sunshine has had me wondering how soon I can pull off flip-flops without looking like an idiot. Seriously, is 60 degrees ok? What about 58...can I pull them off at 58? Do I hear 55? I haven't coerced Shawn into tying my shoes yet...my pride just won't allow it...but I feel like that day is fast approaching.
On a positive note, yesterday we threw open the windows & spent the entire day cleaning. I just love the smell of Pledge mixed with bleach mixed with spring air. When Shawn walked in & saw me cleaning out the window tracks, he just laughed & shook his head. Luckily, he wasn't there to witness me wiping down the baseboards with antibacterial wipes. I don't know why I was so obsessed with getting the house clean before the baby gets here...it's not like it will ever be clean again after he comes...but I couldn't stop myself.
This kid better be awfully cute...
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Trying Out All of Our New Toys
Annie is a hider. She will find a place to be invisible & retreat there whenever she wants a nap. She doesn't really like for anyone to know where she is. If we discover one of her hiding places, she will usually abandon it & find a new one. We have discovered her under the bed, on one of the shelves in the closet, behind the couch, in the clothes hamper...I came home a few nights ago to discover her newest hiding place. It would appear that she is showing her support for the baby by trying out his new stroller...strictly to ensure its safety, I'm sure.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
March Madness
My husband is in hog heaven right now. Or perhaps I should say Wildcat heaven. This is his absolute favorite time of year. Our television stays on ESPN 24/7, and woe be unto the person who even thinks about changing the channel. If he's in the car, he's listening to ESPN radio. If he's on the internet, you can bet he's looking at one of his UK websites or checking his status in the bracket challenge. He studies bracketology like he's earning his Ph.D. in it. Actually, there are probably Ph.D.'s who know less about their discipline than Shawn knows about his.
I'm fine with being a sports fan. I realize this is a big time of year, and I even enjoy keeping up with the games during tournament season. It's exciting. What I don't understand is filling out 15 different brackets, studying everyone else's bracket, listening to every sports commentator in the country talk about their brackets... Doesn't all of that kinda take some of the fun out of it? I mean, shouldn't you really just do one bracket & hope for the best??? Maybe that's just my lack of a Y coming out, but I just don't get it.
When we initially found out we were pregnant (yes, I know I have to find some way to work the pregnancy into every single post but it tends to weigh on my mind a lot these days), Shawn was ecstatic about a May due-date. In his opinion, this is the perfect month to have a baby. It's well past March, so you don't have to be worried about a big game being interrupted by the pesky wife-in-labor routine, but it's early enough in the summer that the baby will be old enough to go to all of the football games.
Yes...dragging a 4 month old to a game with all of the crap he will require, then walking through crowded bleachers 16 times during the game to change diapers, feed him, clean up spit-up, get him out of the sun because in Kentucky it really doesn't decide to be summer until early fall, all while my husband watches the game in oblivion...this is exactly how I want to spend every Saturday this fall. I want my son to attend the games. I get that it's something Shawn enjoys & it's naturally something he will want to share with his son. I think that's great. I even plan on attending a few games this year. But seriously...SERIOUSLY...how many games do you think we're successfully going to attend?
But I digress. So I filled out my one, lonely bracket this year. I will watch the games, but not all of them. I will NOT stay up into the wee hours of the morning to watch all of the highlight reels. (Any wee-hour wandering I will be doing will be to the bathroom.) I will not watch Sports Center every single time it comes on. I will not watch the NIT. And this will continue to be one of those things that my husband & I just don't get about each other.
I'm fine with being a sports fan. I realize this is a big time of year, and I even enjoy keeping up with the games during tournament season. It's exciting. What I don't understand is filling out 15 different brackets, studying everyone else's bracket, listening to every sports commentator in the country talk about their brackets... Doesn't all of that kinda take some of the fun out of it? I mean, shouldn't you really just do one bracket & hope for the best??? Maybe that's just my lack of a Y coming out, but I just don't get it.
When we initially found out we were pregnant (yes, I know I have to find some way to work the pregnancy into every single post but it tends to weigh on my mind a lot these days), Shawn was ecstatic about a May due-date. In his opinion, this is the perfect month to have a baby. It's well past March, so you don't have to be worried about a big game being interrupted by the pesky wife-in-labor routine, but it's early enough in the summer that the baby will be old enough to go to all of the football games.
Yes...dragging a 4 month old to a game with all of the crap he will require, then walking through crowded bleachers 16 times during the game to change diapers, feed him, clean up spit-up, get him out of the sun because in Kentucky it really doesn't decide to be summer until early fall, all while my husband watches the game in oblivion...this is exactly how I want to spend every Saturday this fall. I want my son to attend the games. I get that it's something Shawn enjoys & it's naturally something he will want to share with his son. I think that's great. I even plan on attending a few games this year. But seriously...SERIOUSLY...how many games do you think we're successfully going to attend?
But I digress. So I filled out my one, lonely bracket this year. I will watch the games, but not all of them. I will NOT stay up into the wee hours of the morning to watch all of the highlight reels. (Any wee-hour wandering I will be doing will be to the bathroom.) I will not watch Sports Center every single time it comes on. I will not watch the NIT. And this will continue to be one of those things that my husband & I just don't get about each other.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Showers of Blessings
Driving to work this morning, I had a sudden realization. You know those times when you're thinking of nothing in particular & all of the sudden you have a flash of awareness? I had one of those today. We were on such a high last week after our 4D ultrasound & the excitement surrounding that, I forgot for a few days what the week signified. I realized a couple of days ago that the day had slipped by unnoticed by me, and I was honestly a little glad. However, I still didn't really think about the sneaky little blessing we had.
Two years ago, on March 5th, Shawn & I went to our OB's office for a routine 14-week check-up. We were extra excited because we had been unable to detect a heartbeat at our previous appointment. Our doctor had assured us that it was probably just too early & we would be able to hear it the next time. So, on this day, we waited with baited breath to hear our little miracle that had been such a pleasant surprise. When the doctor couldn't hear the heartbeat for a second time, I never considered the possibility that something could be wrong. I think Shawn knew. I'll never forget the look on the ultrasound technician's face when she just looked at us & said, "I'm so sorry."
The next morning, I had a D&C and started down a very long & difficult road to healing. I'll spare the details because this is a happy post, but suffice it to say it was a long time before I felt like I could truly smile or laugh again.
So, how is this post happy? Like I said, I had realized a couple of days ago that the anniversary had passed without notice. While I never thought that would happen, I was a little glad that I hadn't remembered it & moped around all day long. This morning, I was thinking about something completely different, and suddenly I realized that we had been blessed with a happy week to replace what had formerly been a sad one. Not only did we get to see our healthy baby on ultrasound that week, we were also given a baby shower on the exact date of the D&C. What a wonderful & unexpected gift! What better way to forget bitter memories than by replacing them with memories of friends & family showing us their love & excitement over our son?
So, today I'm thankful. Thankful for unexpected blessings, blessings that sometimes go unnoticed, and especially for blessings that kick me in the ribs.
Two years ago, on March 5th, Shawn & I went to our OB's office for a routine 14-week check-up. We were extra excited because we had been unable to detect a heartbeat at our previous appointment. Our doctor had assured us that it was probably just too early & we would be able to hear it the next time. So, on this day, we waited with baited breath to hear our little miracle that had been such a pleasant surprise. When the doctor couldn't hear the heartbeat for a second time, I never considered the possibility that something could be wrong. I think Shawn knew. I'll never forget the look on the ultrasound technician's face when she just looked at us & said, "I'm so sorry."
The next morning, I had a D&C and started down a very long & difficult road to healing. I'll spare the details because this is a happy post, but suffice it to say it was a long time before I felt like I could truly smile or laugh again.
So, how is this post happy? Like I said, I had realized a couple of days ago that the anniversary had passed without notice. While I never thought that would happen, I was a little glad that I hadn't remembered it & moped around all day long. This morning, I was thinking about something completely different, and suddenly I realized that we had been blessed with a happy week to replace what had formerly been a sad one. Not only did we get to see our healthy baby on ultrasound that week, we were also given a baby shower on the exact date of the D&C. What a wonderful & unexpected gift! What better way to forget bitter memories than by replacing them with memories of friends & family showing us their love & excitement over our son?
So, today I'm thankful. Thankful for unexpected blessings, blessings that sometimes go unnoticed, and especially for blessings that kick me in the ribs.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Good, The Bad, and The...Smelly???
Things I Love About Being Pregnant
People offer to let you cut in front of them in the line for the ladies' room.
When else can you gain 30 (that's my story & I'm sticking to it) pounds & have people tell you that you look great?
The CARBS!!! Oh, the carbs...
You get to wear stretchy pants all of the time.
You get to buy new clothes.
Snacks are a necessity.
My hair growing super-fast.
You can blame your forgetfulness on pregnant-brain.
My husband is doing more housework.
Hearing that wonderful little swishing heartbeat every time I go to the doctor.
When Shawn talks to my belly.
Having a very convenient place to prop my hands...or a book...or a plate...
When my baby is practicing his kick-boxing & I rub my belly & he calms down in response.
Knowing that I could be holding in my belly a future president, the person who finds a cure for cancer, the greatest piano virtuoso, the first Supreme World Emperor...
Knowing that even if he never ever does any of those things, I'll love him no matter what.
Things I Do NOT Love About Being Pregnant
Pregnant-brain. Seriously, couldn't I just get a little blood flow to my brain cells to help the neurons fire???
When people ask you, "Haven't you had that baby yet?" Yes...actually I had him 3 months ago, but it was way fun having my husband tie my shoes, so now I'm just carrying a watermelon under my shirt.
Crying because we're out of cheese, the lady at Wal-Mart didn't wish me a nice day, it's garbage day or any of the other eleventy-hundred perfectly reasonable & valid reasons I might cry.
The mood swings. I SAID, THE MOOD SWINGS, YOU FREAKIN' IDIOT!!!
Taking up a second residence in the bathroom.
G to the A to the S. Yes, everyone has it from time to time. Pregnant women have a particular talent for it. And if you value your eyeballs, you should probably not mention it. Ever.
People offer to let you cut in front of them in the line for the ladies' room.
When else can you gain 30 (that's my story & I'm sticking to it) pounds & have people tell you that you look great?
The CARBS!!! Oh, the carbs...
You get to wear stretchy pants all of the time.
You get to buy new clothes.
Snacks are a necessity.
My hair growing super-fast.
You can blame your forgetfulness on pregnant-brain.
My husband is doing more housework.
Hearing that wonderful little swishing heartbeat every time I go to the doctor.
When Shawn talks to my belly.
Having a very convenient place to prop my hands...or a book...or a plate...
When my baby is practicing his kick-boxing & I rub my belly & he calms down in response.
Knowing that I could be holding in my belly a future president, the person who finds a cure for cancer, the greatest piano virtuoso, the first Supreme World Emperor...
Knowing that even if he never ever does any of those things, I'll love him no matter what.
Things I Do NOT Love About Being Pregnant
Pregnant-brain. Seriously, couldn't I just get a little blood flow to my brain cells to help the neurons fire???
When people ask you, "Haven't you had that baby yet?" Yes...actually I had him 3 months ago, but it was way fun having my husband tie my shoes, so now I'm just carrying a watermelon under my shirt.
Crying because we're out of cheese, the lady at Wal-Mart didn't wish me a nice day, it's garbage day or any of the other eleventy-hundred perfectly reasonable & valid reasons I might cry.
The mood swings. I SAID, THE MOOD SWINGS, YOU FREAKIN' IDIOT!!!
Taking up a second residence in the bathroom.
G to the A to the S. Yes, everyone has it from time to time. Pregnant women have a particular talent for it. And if you value your eyeballs, you should probably not mention it. Ever.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Dear Sam,
Pregnancy does weird things to your body & your mind. Someday you'll meet & marry a girl who I will think is not good enough for you. Hopefully, after a few years, she will partially redeem herself in my eyes & gain worth by carrying my grandchild. Let me just enlighten you as to what you can expect.
I love to hear women share stories of their crazy pregnancy moments. I suspect part of the reason this entertains me so is because I, myself, have never experienced any. I've maintained a perfectly sane, logical perspective on everything throughout my pregnancy. (Queue the snickering & eye-rolling.) I will probably not remember any of these sane, logical moments the second I lay eyes on you, so I thought it would be nice to record some of them for your enjoyment later.
I have been so fortunate to not experience a lot of sickness during my pregnancy. Early on, there were days when nothing sounded good to me, but I rarely ever got physically sick. One day, I was having one of those can't-find-anything-to-eat-but-want-to-eat days & I had rejected the entire contents of our refrigerator & pantry. Desperate for some food, I headed to Wal-Mart. I roamed up & down the aisles looking for something, anything, that appealed to my finicky appetite. After about an hour of shopping, I left Wal-Mart with two cantaloupes & a package of pecan twirls.
I have had a few moments of unexplained, unwarranted (according to your dad) emotional outbursts. For example, the morning that I was getting dressed & found I could no longer button my maternity pants, I considered professional counseling. It didn't matter that I knew they were "early maternity" pants & I would probably not be able to wear them for the whole pregnancy. It didn't matter that I was in my 3rd trimester & you had just experienced a huge growth spurt the week before. It didn't even matter that all of my friends were telling me what a cute pregnant person I made. The simple fact was that I had outgrown freakin' MATERNITY pants!!
I also stood in the middle of our kitchen fighting (unsuccessfully) tears one morning because the dog snapped at me. She didn't bite me. She didn't even really try to bite me...she more just gave me a warning growl. When she did, though, I wondered for a fleeting second how far she'd sail if I dropped-kicked her out the front door. At this moment, I still couldn't tell you if my tears were a result of my fears of her someday reacting the same way to you, or if I was upset that I got SO angry SO quickly, or if she just hurt my feelings by growling at me. See what I mean? Perfectly rational.
I haven't really had any strange cravings. I have noticed that I have desired the things I already liked in a stronger way. For example, I love ice cream. I always have--especially soft serve ice cream. While I have always enjoyed this treat, I could go for weeks or even months at a time without it & not feel deprived in any way. However, with pregnancy comes a feeling that I must have ice cream of some form every day of my life or my very breath will cease to come. Seriously. I had to put myself on a one-milkshake-per-week rule just a couple months into my pregnancy because it was getting so out of control. It was like a drug--the more I had it the more I wanted it. I couldn't stop!
Sam, even though I feel like I don’t really have control over my body anymore, I love the fact that you’re making such a visible impression on me. At 31 weeks, something is new everyday. Today, you were poking me from the inside of my belly-button & I started massaging the area because it was a bit uncomfortable. You abruptly & immediately moved your arm, and it was as if I could have reached out (or in, as it were) & held your hand. I can’t wait to kiss your fat little cheeks & snuggle you next to me. I’m so excited for all of the memories we’ll make together & for all of the times you’ll roll your eyes at me because I’m making too big of a deal out of you just being you. You currently reside in my belly, but you will forever reside in my heart.
I love you more than I could ever express in a silly letter,
Mommy
Pregnancy does weird things to your body & your mind. Someday you'll meet & marry a girl who I will think is not good enough for you. Hopefully, after a few years, she will partially redeem herself in my eyes & gain worth by carrying my grandchild. Let me just enlighten you as to what you can expect.
I love to hear women share stories of their crazy pregnancy moments. I suspect part of the reason this entertains me so is because I, myself, have never experienced any. I've maintained a perfectly sane, logical perspective on everything throughout my pregnancy. (Queue the snickering & eye-rolling.) I will probably not remember any of these sane, logical moments the second I lay eyes on you, so I thought it would be nice to record some of them for your enjoyment later.
I have been so fortunate to not experience a lot of sickness during my pregnancy. Early on, there were days when nothing sounded good to me, but I rarely ever got physically sick. One day, I was having one of those can't-find-anything-to-eat-but-want-to-eat days & I had rejected the entire contents of our refrigerator & pantry. Desperate for some food, I headed to Wal-Mart. I roamed up & down the aisles looking for something, anything, that appealed to my finicky appetite. After about an hour of shopping, I left Wal-Mart with two cantaloupes & a package of pecan twirls.
I have had a few moments of unexplained, unwarranted (according to your dad) emotional outbursts. For example, the morning that I was getting dressed & found I could no longer button my maternity pants, I considered professional counseling. It didn't matter that I knew they were "early maternity" pants & I would probably not be able to wear them for the whole pregnancy. It didn't matter that I was in my 3rd trimester & you had just experienced a huge growth spurt the week before. It didn't even matter that all of my friends were telling me what a cute pregnant person I made. The simple fact was that I had outgrown freakin' MATERNITY pants!!
I also stood in the middle of our kitchen fighting (unsuccessfully) tears one morning because the dog snapped at me. She didn't bite me. She didn't even really try to bite me...she more just gave me a warning growl. When she did, though, I wondered for a fleeting second how far she'd sail if I dropped-kicked her out the front door. At this moment, I still couldn't tell you if my tears were a result of my fears of her someday reacting the same way to you, or if I was upset that I got SO angry SO quickly, or if she just hurt my feelings by growling at me. See what I mean? Perfectly rational.
I haven't really had any strange cravings. I have noticed that I have desired the things I already liked in a stronger way. For example, I love ice cream. I always have--especially soft serve ice cream. While I have always enjoyed this treat, I could go for weeks or even months at a time without it & not feel deprived in any way. However, with pregnancy comes a feeling that I must have ice cream of some form every day of my life or my very breath will cease to come. Seriously. I had to put myself on a one-milkshake-per-week rule just a couple months into my pregnancy because it was getting so out of control. It was like a drug--the more I had it the more I wanted it. I couldn't stop!
Sam, even though I feel like I don’t really have control over my body anymore, I love the fact that you’re making such a visible impression on me. At 31 weeks, something is new everyday. Today, you were poking me from the inside of my belly-button & I started massaging the area because it was a bit uncomfortable. You abruptly & immediately moved your arm, and it was as if I could have reached out (or in, as it were) & held your hand. I can’t wait to kiss your fat little cheeks & snuggle you next to me. I’m so excited for all of the memories we’ll make together & for all of the times you’ll roll your eyes at me because I’m making too big of a deal out of you just being you. You currently reside in my belly, but you will forever reside in my heart.
I love you more than I could ever express in a silly letter,
Mommy
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