The last couple of weeks have been some of the most mentally, physically & emotionally exhausting I have ever experienced. Mom was admitted to UK's Markey Cancer Center two weeks ago for some tests. When we were home the weekend before, she woke up Sunday & couldn't walk. She was very weak & had almost no use of her left leg. An x-ray revealed that she had broken her left hip.
We began making preparations for surgery to repair her hip, but it would seem that God had a different plan. Over the next few days, her condition spiraled downward, and on January 7, she gave up her fight & received her reward. It's funny the things that go through your mind when you experience the loss of a loved one.
I remember how she was at every piano recital, junior high basketball game, cross country race...whatever we were doing. It didn't matter that I wasn't (and am not) very athletically inclined...she was there. And she was usually cheering the loudest.
I remember how she hated her wheelchair. When it became absolutely necessary for her to use it, she really worried about my sister's children seeing her in it. She was afraid they would be scared. I also remember how they really didn't care. In their innocence, they never saw a wheelchair, a wig, a sick woman...they only saw their Nana whom they loved.
I remember how she loved walking on the beach. While my tendency is to sleep in on vacation, she would always get up early & go to the beach to watch the sunrise & pick up shells.
I remember how she loved the music of the 70's. She couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, but she'd turn the radio to her oldies station & sing right along. I wonder if I'll ever hear The Mamas & The Papas and not think of her.
I remember how she would always load our minivan up with every child in our neighborhood & cart us to Bible School every summer. Every morning for a week, our yard would be littered with bicycles while we crammed into the van so we could go learn about God. I never really appreciated what a gift that was until recently.
I remember how our yard was the gathering place for most of the neighborhood kids. On especially hot days when we would be in the middle of a triple-header wiffle ball tournament, she would always have Kool-Aid available for everyone.
I remember when we were in the process of buying our first house, I wasn't planning on putting a Christmas tree up in our rented townhouse. We were spending our weeks in Pikeville staying with family & only coming back to our place on the weekends. I mentioned this to her in a passing conversation a couple of weeks before Christmas. I also mentioned to her that when we finally had a front porch I wanted to sit outside in a rocking chair every evening. That weekend, when we got back to our townhouse, someone had broken in & put up a tree, decorated it & left two wooden rocking chairs in the living room. The note just said, "From Santa." She never admitted to it.
I remember that whenever there was a family wedding, baby shower, or other event, she always wanted to do the behind-the-scenes work. She just never seemed comfortable in the spotlight. She didn't like for people to fuss over her...a simple thank you was always enough.
I remember countless moves where she packed boxes, cleaned carpet, unloaded boxes, made up beds, stocked kitchens, hung pictures...whatever needed to be done. When Shawn & I bought our first house, I remember finding her asleep on the floor with no pillow and no blanket...just her on the carpet, too exhausted to wait for a bed.
I remember that there were times when we fussed & argued, but I honestly don't remember what very many of those arguments were about. I suppose that's God's way of protecting your heart & your memories.
While the last couple of weeks have been trying to say the least, I can look back & see answered prayers. Mom's suffering was short-lived, and she never had to depend on a nurse or outside assistance for her care. I have been blessed with an outpouring of love & support from family & friends, and it reminds me once again how lucky I am.
